Cut to Fit: How the Plastic Surgery Industry Preys on Our Desire to Belong
Cut to Fit: How the Plastic Surgery Industry Preys on Our Desire to Belong
By Dr. Wonbin Jung, LMFT, Center for Asian American Trauma
Let’s start with the story we’re told:
“You’re not broken, but a little tweak here would make you even better. Just a touch off the nose. A lift of the eyes. A sharper jaw. Think of it as self-care, self-love, empowerment.”
But what if the line between self-love and self-erasure isn’t as clear as they want us to believe?
Welcome to the $60+ billion global beauty industrial complex — where "confidence" is sold in syringes, scalpels, and subtle shame. Where the pain of not being enough is cleverly rebranded as an aesthetic "choice." And where, for many Asian American Gen Z and Millennials, the pressure to look “better” is often code for looking whiter.
Let’s talk about it.
The Cost of Belonging
For many of us who grew up Asian in the U.S., beauty was never just about looking good — it was about safety. About being seen. About being liked enough to matter.
When the world tells you that your eyes are “too small,” your nose is “too flat,” your skin “too yellow,” and your body “too much” (or not enough), you internalize a painful equation: visibility = conformity.
That’s why the rise of cosmetic procedures in Asian communities isn’t just a personal choice — it’s a cultural crisis. And it’s no accident that the most commonly requested procedures among Asian Americans are blepharoplasty (double eyelid surgery), rhinoplasty (nose bridge reshaping), jawline contouring, and skin lightening.
Surgeons may call it “harmonizing features.” We call it what it is: a deep, aching desire to be accepted in a world that tells us we’re only beautiful when we look less Asian.
The Lie of Empowerment
You’ve probably heard this one before:
"It’s my body, my choice. If it makes me feel good, why not?"
And yes, bodily autonomy matters — period.
But the real question is: Where do those feelings come from? Who taught you what “feeling good” should look like?
The beauty industry is a master manipulator. It doesn’t sell insecurity directly — it sells a solution to a wound it quietly created. It whispers that you’ll feel more confident, more successful, more lovable... if you just fix that one thing.
Then another. And another. Until you’ve carved yourself into someone else’s fantasy.
What’s sold as empowerment often starts as internalized racism, colorism, fatphobia, ageism — the whole toxic stew of Western beauty ideals, served up with a side of K-pop aesthetics and Instagram filters. What seems like personal choice is often survival dressed up in glam.
The Rise of Medicalized Insecurity
Let’s be real: Plastic surgery is no longer reserved for the ultra-rich or celebrities. It’s being marketed to high schoolers, college students, and your friend who “just wants to look refreshed.”
Scroll through TikTok or Instagram for ten minutes and you’ll be flooded with before-and-after photos, “subtle” tweakment tutorials, and surgeons offering summer specials like they’re selling frozen yogurt.
Some facts to sit with:
The cosmetic surgery industry has seen a massive increase among people under 30, with Asian Americans making up one of the fastest-growing demographics.
In South Korea, double eyelid surgery is often given as a high school graduation gift — and U.S.-based clinics are increasingly catering to that demand.
The psychological effects of cosmetic surgery are not always positive; studies show mixed results, and in many cases, dissatisfaction persists or worsens after procedures.
Why? Because the real problem isn’t your face — it’s the mirror the world hands you.
Generational Pain in a Designer Package
Let’s talk family.
For a lot of first- and second-gen Asian Americans, beauty-related messages start young and stay loud.
Your mom might have said, “You’d be prettier if you lost weight.” Your aunt might have asked if you ever considered “fixing” your nose. Your grandma might have praised you for getting “lighter” over the summer.
These messages aren't just about aesthetics — they’re about social mobility. Many of our parents and elders absorbed the belief that beauty was a form of capital. That looking “presentable” (read: Western, thin, light-skinned) was a way to survive racism, land a job, get married, or avoid judgment.
So when they urge us to “do something about our looks,” it often comes from a place of distorted love. But love rooted in fear still hurts.
And now, in 2025, the industry is capitalizing on that legacy of pain. It’s turning our inherited wounds into a product line.
What’s the Mental Health Impact?
You already know the answer. But in case no one’s named it yet:
Constant scrutiny from family and media leads to chronic low self-esteem.
Cosmetic procedures can become addictive, chasing an ideal that keeps moving.
There’s often trauma behind the desire to change one’s face — and no scalpel can remove it.
Many clients report grief, identity confusion, and even depression after cosmetic work, especially if it results in feeling less like themselves.
Plastic surgery is not a mental health solution. It’s often a response to a deeper trauma — the trauma of never feeling enough in a system that profits from your self-doubt.
What Healing Might Look Like
We’re not here to shame anyone who’s chosen to change their body or face. You deserve compassion, not judgment.
But we are here to ask the questions no surgeon will:
Who benefits from your insecurity?
What does beauty mean to you — not to the world, not to your family, not to the algorithm?
What does it mean to be at home in your body, as it is?
Healing is a radical, nonlinear process. And for Asian Americans who’ve been told our features are flaws, healing often looks like:
Reclaiming our natural faces and celebrating our diversity.
Having hard, honest conversations with our families about beauty, trauma, and internalized racism.
Saying no to an industry that thrives on making us feel “almost there.”
Sitting with discomfort instead of immediately fixing it.
Choosing to exist — fully and unapologetically — in a body that defies the norm.
Final Words: You Were Never the Problem
If no one has ever said this to you before:
Your eyes do not need to be bigger.
Your nose does not need to be higher.
Your skin does not need to be lighter.
Your face does not need to be reshaped.
You are not an “almost.”
You are not a fixer-upper.
You are not a body to be optimized.
You are a person — layered, complex, and beautiful in a way that no surgeon can design.
And if you’re hurting? That makes sense. You’ve been swimming in a system designed to make you drown.
But there’s another shore. And we can walk toward it together.
If this blog resonates with you and you want support navigating body image, cultural trauma, or just feeling like enough — therapy can help. At the Center for Asian American Trauma, we hold space for all of it: the grief, the rage, the confusion, the unlearning. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Come as you are. You are already worthy.
With lots of love,
Dr. Wonbin